Eating from Scarcity

 I used to eat whatever someone had baked “just for me” as soon as they gave it to me.  When someone brought in “free” food to work, I would always eat some. Whenever I went to parties, I would taste everything that looked good – no matter if I was hungry or not.   

     Do you always eat when someone makes a food “just for you” or if there is “free” food available? Do you even consider whether you’re hungry or if you really want that food?  Are you able to pass by your favorite ice cream shop or bakery without buying yourself a treat – and eating it on the spot? If you eat just because the food is available now – and may not be available later – you are eating out of scarcity. And if you’re frequently eating when you’re not hungry, then you are probably overeating.  And of course, frequent overeating will cause you to gain weight. 

     Scarcity thinking is just how you think about certain foods.  However, your thoughts are not always true and you do not have to always believe what you think.  What else could you think about those cookies that were baked "just for you"?  Could you think that you can put those cookies on your food plan tomorrow and enjoy them at that time?  Or maybe that those cookies aren’t even that good?  Or maybe that you would rather fit into your smaller sized clothing, instead of feeling the brief pleasure of eating those cookies.  Yes, eating a cookie or two does not matter, but when you frequently eat an extra cookie or two, those cookies add up to become extra fat which gets stored in your body.   

     If you commonly eat out of scarcity, there are several ways you can stop that behavior.  When you pass your favorite bakery, and you are tempted by the delicious smells coming from that bakery, you can tell yourself that you will put something from the bakery on your eating plan someday soon and walk away.  Or, you can buy what you desire and save it until tomorrow when you can put it on your eating plan.  Or, you can notice that you’re tempted and remind yourself that you desire weight loss more than the temporary joy that pastry will give you and walk away and congratulate yourself.  And of course, you can take a different route and not even pass that bakery.

     If someone brings you a “special food”, can you save it to eat until you can put it on your plan?  If your mother insists on sending you home with your favorite cookies, can you graciously take them and either eat them when you plan for them, or even (gasp!) throw them away?  Remember, that your mother felt pleasure from her thoughts about baking the cookies just for you and thinking about how pleased you would be when she gave you the cookies.  You do not have to tell your mother what you plan to do with the cookies.  Just let your mother know that you love her and you love that she was thinking about you by baking those cookies and you appreciate that she made you those cookies! 

     If you are at a dinner party, and someone puts several desserts on the table that they say they spent all day baking and pushes you to eat the desserts  – but you are no longer hungry - can you decline the desserts, or take some dessert home, or put some dessert on your plate and just take 2-3 bites?  Do you ever remember what the person who baked the desserts ate, or what other guests ate?  Will anyone at the party remember tomorrow whether you ate all the desserts (or not)?  And, how will you feel tomorrow if you overeat the desserts – and how you will feel if you only eat until satisfied instead? 

     Do you finish small amounts of food that are left in the serving dish so you do not waste the food?  Is that food better "wasted" on your "waist"?  Can you leave a small amount of food on your plate if you've eaten until satisfied?  Are you able to throw away that food and not feel "guilty" that you are wasting food?  An excellent skill to practice is to leave one or two bites of food on your plate frequently.  How do you feel when you leave food on your plate?  Does it get easier to do with practice?

     The skill of saving a food that’s not on your plan for tomorrow, or throwing it away, or declining it - takes practice.  The more frequently you practice this skill, the better you will get at refusing food that you did not plan to eat – or at asking to take home the food to eat at another time.  If you frequently find yourself eating out of scarcity, and then you learn these skills of not eating just because a food is easily available, you will lose weight as your overeating decreases.   

     With practice, eventually you will be able to have any food present in your house without feeling like you need to eat it.  You can practice being around “trigger foods” and not eating them by leaving 2-3 cookies that you love (or something else that you want to learn how to enjoy without overeating) on the counter or table, and then planning to eat that food tomorrow or at another time. Pay attention to your thoughts about those cookies every time you notice them.  Notice how long the urge to eat those cookies actually lasts.  If you can, journal about your thoughts when you see those cookies. It’s a wonderful skill to learn how to ignore formerly tempting foods that are not on your food plan!  Anytime you can successfully not eat those cookies and just let the urges to eat them pass, celebrate!  Give yourself a high five, journal about your win, and if you have an urge jar, put a marble or bead in the jar!  Those wins add up and you will soon be able to wear the clothing you desire and feel comfortable being around any food. 

     You can get a free copy of "How to Handle Urges" on my website: https://drbarbaralkatzcoaching.mykajabi.com.  This also contains information about how to make an urge jar.   

   If you would like help in managing your scarcity thinking or in learning how to honor your body by eating in a way that will keep it healthy and strong, schedule a free, no obligation, no pressure, consult call with me at:  https://drbarbaralkatzcoaching.mykajabi.com.  Yes, it is possible to not only lose weight in menopause – but keep it off – and the process is easier than you might think.  I look forward to chatting with you!